What I wasn’t looking for, found me. I think.


Not to delve into the type of lifestyle I was living, or thought about going back to, but recently I went back to a place that was for casual hook ups. I went back to that place because I didn’t think I was ready for anything serious as far as a relationship goes.

While back at that place, I did meet someone and have coffee with them.

Now, after all I’ve been through, I have learned to read people really well. I study them and actually listen and hear what they say. I look at who they are and their actions. Maybe me being a salesman has taught me a thing or two about reading people as well. Not to toot my own horn, but I’m damn good at it.

So when I met this person for coffee, I was surprised. Surprised at how she handled herself and her story. I felt a connection almost immediately. So that is when I decided to study her. Everything about her was great. She is like me in many ways. Unappreciated being the first and a few other things that I won’t mention out of respect for her.

I can see myself with this person for a very long time. She is not a replacement for those I’ve had in the past. And so far, she has fit the bill of everything I’m looking for.

However, she is not ready for a relationship. I hope that changes. I hope it changes when she is ready. The last thing I want to do is force someone or for them to feel like they have to. I don’t think she does, but you never know.

I’ve thought about if I’m ready or not. Considering what I was looking for to begin with. It’s a tough question to answer, but the answer is yes. Am I afraid of being hurt again? You bet your ass I am. Is it worth the shot? Well, I can’t live my whole life being afraid of getting hurt, so yes. Especially when I’m as confident in this person than I ever have been. I want her and no one else.